You are worth every mark, every scar.

Pregnancy was not easy on my body. Its not easy on anyone's body I suppose.

 

We started this journey nearly a year ago and since then my body has gone from what I once recognized as my size 6 self to a vague resemblance of what it once was. You see, I was extremely sick my first 13 weeks. And after trying everything on the planet to make the sickness stop, we discovered that psi bands and eating constantly were the only two things that worked. Well, when your body adjusts to eating that much and your hormones are having a party, that habit sticks around for the nine months and 1 week that that small human is growing on the inside of you. I was also blessed with my mother's genes and I carry like a torpedo off of the front of me. In the 41 and a half weeks that I was pregnant, I stretched more than I thought was humanly possible. I have that amazing skin that likes to show its elasticity through those beautiful stretch marks and now it seems when I look in the mirror, I see a shadow of what my body once was.

In one year I have gained 70 lbs and have lost 37.

Malachi; (noun) - messenger of God

That in and of it self, makes it all worth it.

Labor was a miserable experience. After 54 hours of painful inconsistent contractions, a night of constant monitoring and a baby that liked to run from the monitors, an induction that hurt so bad I sincerely thought I might die, an epidural and a baby that didn't respond well to Pitocin, a husband who kept all of the terrifying things happening around me a secret and stretched the truth just enough to keep me calm, and an emergency c-section, I heard the most beautiful sound in the world.

And in the moment, it was all worth it.

Recovery after a c-section is a painful experience. I couldn't even lift my legs to wash my feet in the shower for the first two weeks. I had never been more humbled to ask for help in my entire life as I was in the weeks following my delivery. My husband has been my hero since the day I met him, but when Malachi was born, I realized why. I was sore, and tired, I was still nursing and felt the faint shadow of postpartum depression creeping up on me. But when that little face looked up at me and smiled that gummy, beautiful little smile, I remembered what my body had just done.

 

And I remembered why it was all worth it.

My body is a constant reminder that I am powerful beyond words. I did something so miraculous and so amazing. I created life. So when I look in the mirror and I don't recognize myself, or I wish I could fit into at least something resembling cute or fashionable, I just remind myself of the beauty that I just created and I go where I go with confidence. Because when I look into that little boys eyes, I am so reminded of the beauty that I posses. Not so long ago, we were one. Mine was the first voice that he ever knew, my heart beat was the first sound he recognized. I am his whole world.

And that right there makes it all worth it.

So these stretch marks that line my stomach and my thighs aren't scars, they are bragging rights to the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. One mark for every kick and tumble and roll. One mark for every hiccup. One mark for every day that I held you so very close to my heart.

More than worth it.

This pouch of skin on my stomach isn't an inconvenience, it was once home to my precious little boy. It kept him warm and it kept him safe from the world until my arms could do so. This scar that stretches across my belly isn't something to be embarrassed of. It is how my body made way for my precious Malachi to come into this world. My stomach may still look 5 months pregnant and my maternity jeans may still be the only ones that fit, but when those little eyes look up at me and that little cry tells me that I am his whole world and that he depends on me for each and every thing that he needs?

In that moment, its all worth it.

Malachi, you are worth every mark, every scar. You are worth it. You are worth it all.

So to all you moms out there that look in the mirror and don't like what you see staring back, remember that your body is a beautiful thing and that you are powerful. Your body created life. And one day, your body will resemble what it once was. Just remember that your precious baby thinks you are the most beautiful girl in the world. You are their first love. Their safe place. You're are more than enough.

You are worth more than you know.

Two months...

My precious little man,

So today you are a whole two months old. I cannot even believe that I am saying that. You are growing so fast, but so very perfectly. The difference that a month makes is crazy to me. You are just getting so stinking big!

Your personality has exploded this month. You have become so interactive. Your smile has made itself known (except when Im trying to get a picture of it. Then its non existent)! And it is the cutest and most precious thing in the entire world. You smile in response to being smiled at. Mornings are your most smiley time of day. You wake up in just the happiest of moods. You lay in your bed and stare at your mobile and just coo and smile the morning away. Coming over to greet you each morning is my favorite time of day. That little face knows me so well. And it melts my heart. Your smile is contagious.

You have found your voice! You just coo and giggle like crazy. Your actual laugh started just in the last three days. But you get so excited and that little laugh just comes out plain as day. That giggle reminds me of whats actually important in life. But as much as you giggle, man can you cry. Those little lungs sure do work good. You are such an easy baby, unless your hungry or gassy. Then we know you're there and there is no ignoring you. Not at all. We love Gripe Water this month. And rides in the car. Both have saved our butts on several occasions.

You found your hand. Just the right one. And you chew on it. You sometimes prefer it to your binky. You also kick your feet up in to the fetal position and just kind of chill there. Its pretty stinking adorable. You still sleep with your hands above your hear or directly out to the sides of you. The swaddling season has well past. Im not sad about it. It means you can sleep anywhere and doing pretty much anything. You definitely got my feet. You can pinch with your toes. I think its cute. Your future wife will hate it ;)

You also stick your tongue out now. You will play with us with your new trick. We stick our tongue out at you and you'll do it right back.  That tongue is accompanied by a lot of drool and spit bubbles. As gross as it sounds, its adorable.

You take playing very seriously. There is no half way with you my man. You get that from your daddy. You still love that kick and play piano mat. It sure does get some great use. To whoever bought that for us, thank you haha! But you will just kick and play with your friends for hours at a time. You play with the most intense little look on your face. Your mat has a mirror in the center of it and you have discovered your reflection. I dont think you have a clue that you are looking at yourself in that mirror, but you know its a baby in there. If we ask you where that baby is, you will look right in the mirror and smile :)

You love colors this month. Everything about colors. If its bright you will stare at it very intently, You can tell that your little mind is just trying so hard to figure out what the heck you are looking at. You also love to stare at pictures. You are beginning to recognize people and their voices. Your eyesight has also gotten so good! You follow people as they walk across a room and if you hear something you look right in the direction its coming from. You are so smart it just blows me away sometimes. Your favorite toy this month is definitely your Deer lovie. It is the cutest little blanket attached to a stuffed deer that Uncle Jonfin bought you last Christmas. You hold on to that thing so tight when you nap in your carseat. It melts my heart.

You are beautiful, Malachi. Everything about you. You are so gentle. You love being talked to softly, and you love being held. You just melt into me and my heart just about explodes. Those bright blue eyes can see right through you. They see things that we can only dream about. You have your daddy's smile, and you sometimes cry just because you want to know someone's there. I have never loved anyone the way that I love you. You are worth every second of those 54 hours of labor. I would do it again tomorrow if I had to.

Malachi, you are called to such greatness. Your name means messenger of God. And I believe with everything in me that that is exactly what you are going to be. You will help to heal the hurting and the sick. You will show people the love of Jesus, and not by saying a word. Just by being the sweet, soft, gentle person that you are. And I promise when the time comes, I will let you go. Because the world needs you just as much as I do. I promise that I will raise you to be a Godly man who will love Jesus every day of his life. And more than anything, I promise to always be your friend. Nothing you do will ever make me love you less.

You are my favorite person in this world. Never forget that. I love you, little boy.

All my love,
Mama

One Month...

My sweet, sweet Malachi,

I cannot even believe that you are one month old today. The last 4 weeks have gone so very quickly and you have changed so very much. But the image of your little face is forever burned into my mind.

As I sit here writing this letter to you, you are fast asleep on your playmat, all played out. That face you make when you sleep takes my breath away every time. Sitting here I cannot believe that God gave me you. I dont know what I did to deserve it, but I have never been more thankful for something in my life

You getting here was an experience to say the very least. You knew how you wanted to come and thats exactly how you came. And you came with that incredible little smile on your face and those aware little eyes. And from that very first moment, you had stolen my heart and ran away with it. When we found out that we were having a boy I was terrified because I know nothing about little boys. I had no idea how I was going to figure you out and relate to you. But oh my, little man, I couldnt imagine our life any other way. I want to spend every minute with you. And I can't wait to see what adventures we will find together. You're my best buddy.

You have the most beautiful baby skin. And it smells just to perfectly baby. You have this adorable baby acne on your face. It started on your forehead and has made its way down to your eyelids and your cheeks. Youve had a blocked tearduct for the last week or so we have to have Dr. Golden check that one out. You're hair is this precious golden blonde color, and it sticks straight up off of your head. Its the cutest thing. You're eyes are bright blue and can see straight through you. I really cannot wait to hear all about the things that you see.

You are so very strong. You have been holding your head up for a few seconds on your own since you were 3 days old. You love holding our fingers and the last few days you have started grabbing on to my shirt when I hold you. You are so very active. You love your kick and play mat. You have figured out how to kick your legs and you play music on your piano. You love to play.

You make the best faces. You cross your eyes and you love to stare at me and your daddy. You recognize our voices and it might be the most precious thing in the world. You love to listen to your daddy sing. And you are so aware of music and sounds. You sleep so much better to music and sounds than you do without them.

You love to eat. We made the switch from nursing to formula about a week and half ago. And it was quite the adjustment. You spent your first night in the emergency room because your belly just really didnt like the new formula we started with. But we have slowly gotten the hang of it. We have gotten back up to the times and amounts that you should be having at this age so that is a major accomplishment. We are loving the bottle feedings though. It has been so nice to just be able to go out and feed you when you are hungry. Figuring out how to heat them up when we are out has been a major task though. We are getting the hang of it all though. No worries. You will always be fed my little one. Always.

You have found your voice over the last two weeks. You know how to cry very very loudly haha. But that little voice of yours says so much. You have such a precious personality and we are so in love with you, my precious Malachi.

You are such a blessing to us and you will never know what you and your beautiful little self means to us. We have waited and prayed for you my little man, and you are more than we could have ever hoped or prayed for. You have such a very big call on your life, my little prophet, and we are so excited to see where this life takes you. But don't grow up too fast. We need every single minute with you, to build memories and to remember your little face by. I cannot wait to see what adventures your little life will hold and all the adventures we will find together. I never knew that my heart could love something so very much. You are our favorite person in the whole wide world. Never forget that.

All my love,
Your Mama

Malachi: Fashionably late, but so worth the wait.

So first of all, I apologize for the lack of bumpdates past week 35. The last month of pregnancy kicked my butt. I was large, uncomfortable, swollen and past my due date. I was not in the mood to tell anybody anything about what was going on let alone to have my picture taken. I know at some point I may look back and regret that, but it is what it is.


Now that we have covered that, lets tell a birth story.

First of all, lets talk about his name. Now we announced several months back that we were naming our little guy Rylan. And at that time, we had every intention of doing so. It was a name that Nic and I both agreed on and we both really liked it. According to Auntie Bekah, it was a studly name haha. But about a month ago, God really just started working in my heart about the name of our son. We have received a few different prophetic words over our little man about who he is and what he will become. We believe that God has big plans for this little man, and we felt that his name needed to reflect that. Rylan is a beautiful name, but it means "man from the land of rye". At some point, our son will google the meaning of his name. Thats not the meaning that we want him to find. So we began to look at the things that we have been praying over our son since we found our that we were expecting. We have prayed boldness, joy and a prophetic voice. We have prayed a loving heart, and no fear in the face of the world. We have prayed that this little boy will love the Lord all the days of his life and that as we train him up in the way he should go, when he is old he will never depart from it. We have prayed that his life will be a testimony to the goodness of God's grace and that as he goes into the nations that they will never be the same. We have prayed greatness upon him. And we knew that when we called him by name, we needed to speak those things into existence. Calling him the man from the land of rye just wasnt what we wanted to speak over his life haha. So we began to look for a name that spoke those things over his life. We looked through all of our name books again. We searched the internet, and the bible and we decided that Malachi was everything that we wanted our son to be and more. It speaks greatness over him and we just knew. His name is Malachi. It always has been.

So everyone has this fantasy of what their birth experience will be like. Myself included. I expected to go into labor, try for a natural birth, push my heart out and end with a beautiful baby in my arms. This was most certainly not the case. On Monday the 3rd, around 4:45am, I started having regular contractions. They were far apart, but they were consistent. We started timing them over the course of the day. And come 2:00pm they were a consistent 5 minutes apart. We took the half hour drive to the hospital and got things rolling. They hooked me up to the monitors in triage and starting timing things. They got me up and sent me walking through the halls. We walked and walked for about an hour and then hooked me back up to see what kind of progress Ive made. Turned out I made no progress at all. And my contractions slowed themselves down instead of speeding up. So the doctor left it up to me whether or not I wanted to labor there or go home. The very rude charge nurse basically said go home, so we went to the Olive Garden haha. And hoped the night would hold some progress. Well, the contractions got harder and more painful through the night, but became completely inconsistent. 12 minutes, 8 minutes, 32 minutes, 45 minutes, 2 minutes 3 minutes. You name a time and it was one of our intervals that day. Well come 24 hours from the time we had previously been in the hospital I was at my witts end. I called in and talked to the on call doctor and she was so sweet and completely understood my pain and frustration. She told me to go ahead and come in and that they would give me something to keep my comfortable through the night and then induce me in the morning if progress hadnt been made at that point. So we did just that. We went in through triage again, and they admitted me for good that time. They moved us into our LDR room and got me completely hooked up and set for the night. They administered cervidil to try and get my cervix to fully thin and to start my progress. I took that through the night and just tried to get some rest. Little man was being as stubborn as ever though. They were trying to get his heart rate on the monitor and he kept running away. The nurse came in every half hour through the night trying to find his heartbeat because he had moved. So that made for a long night. But come 6 am they removed the cervidil and let me get up and shower and get myself ready for the adventure this day would hold. At 8ish the doctor came in and said that I hadnt made progress as they had hoped through the night and that I was still 2 days ahead of when they would normally induce so there was a chance I would be heading home again. I lost it at that moment. Completely. But Nic, my wonderful amazing Godsend of a husband, talked me down and got me on the right track again. The doctor decided to go ahead and start the Petocin and just see if we would make some progress. Well that stuff kicked in, and let me tell you. It worked. I went from 2 cm to 6 cm within an hour and they ruptured my membranes. Man did that one hurt. Like holy crap Im gunna die hurt. So they called for the anesthesiologist and got me my epidural. I cried through that one like holy wow, but the sweetest of nurses got me through it and I was a different person come the end of that procedure.

I was resting comfortably and even laughing with my family. They were wanting me to get some sleep to build up for the pushing that was to come, so my nurse Candy came in to check little man's heart rate. She turned me on my side in an attempt to get him to drop, but when they did his heart rate dropped. Drastically. And the beauty of that? Nic didnt tell me. I could hear it slowdown on the monitor but he just kept telling me he was fine and that it was still in that normal range. Apparently in these big situations its okay to go around the truth a bit to keep me from completely losing it haha. My doctor came back in and looked at my feed and saw that little man was not responding well to the petocin at all. Every time I would contract, his heart rate was dive. Doctor Mackay said he would be right back and when he returned he said that they were going to need to do an emergency csection. They didnt want to risk little man's safety by letting me try and finish laboring. Again, I panicked. And Nic got me in the right mindset, and ready to go. I had spent most of my pregnancy fearing a csection. I hated the very idea of it. I blame it on watching way too much "A Baby Story" as a child. But either way, I was terrified. So the nurses came in in swarms and started prepping me for my little man to arrive in a very unexpected way. My brother called me in the process and prayed for me in only the way that my brother can and helped to calm me down. They got Nic dressed in his scrubs and ready to go and within a half hour we were on our way into the operating room. The left Nic outside the room and got my strapped in and prepped and got things started, and this is where it got interesting haha. Because I was so fearful of it I was already on edge going into it. And because I had already had an epidural, they couldnt give me a full spinal. They just added more numbing meds to the drip I already had going, plus a whole lot of Morphine haha. But because they didnt do a full spinal, I could feel what was going on behind that giant drape. they claimed it should have just been pressure, but no sir. I felt what was happening. Well, three days of labor and pain built up and exploded at that moment. I hyperventilated. Yup. Loudly. And painfully. Luckily I had the sweetest anesthesiologists in the whole world that stopped everything and gave me the happy twilight medicine that made me calm down and breathe. Now this happy drug made me think that I was asleep, but according to my husband I was having a great conversation with everyone around me and was unbelievably talkative, which is hard to believe because if you know me at all you know that I dont talk to anyone ever. haha. My favorite doctor apparently came in to assist and I got very excited and had a conversation with her. Nic showed me a picture of Malachi three times before I finally remembered seeing it.  I fell asleep for 45 seconds and thought that I slept through the entire procedure. It was an adventure to say the least.

 When I finally came to, I heard the most beautiful sound in the world. My little man was crying the sweetest little cry. After what felt like an eternity, they finally brought him over to me and that little face stole my heart from the very first moment. As soon as he heard me talking he stopped crying and he looked right at me. Ill never be the same after that moment. They handed him to Nic and that little face locked on his voice and at that moment everything changed. We became a family of three. Life would never be the same. 54 hours and an emergency surgery, and it was worth every single minute of it. He was worth every single minute of it.

And that is how it happened friends. The next three days were a marathon of healing and bonding with this beautiful little person. It was such an amazing experience and I wouldnt have wanted to experience this with anyone other Nicolas. We made it through every obstacle, three days of labor and pain, and have learned to love and take care of this little person hand in hand. It has been worth every sleepless night, frustrated feeding and cry filled moment. This has been the most beautiful season that Nic and I have been through. And I never realized how much I loved that man until I saw the way that he loves this little boy. He is jealous for time with him. He holds him so close and keeps him so safe. He changes his diapers, feeds him his bottles and takes charge in every situation. He has encouraged me through the ups and downs of the emotions of postpartum and has made me feel like I am the luckiest girl in the world. And I really am. This life just became so much more beautiful than I ever thought it could.

Until next time...

Bumpdate: Week 35

This has been a very snowy week in Pennsylvania. So we decided to venture out of the house this afternoon onto the 8 inches of snow on the deck to take some bump pictures. We are getting so close to little man getting here that we want to make sure we have pictures to remember the end stages of the bump by :)

How far along? 35 weeks

Maternity clothes? Even the biggest maternity clothes that I bought for the comfiness of it are tight around the bump this week. Little man is just growing up a storm. Sweatpants are still my favorite. And probably will be from here on out. But I do have a few cute things to wear that still fit. Not many haha but a few. But we are in the home stretch for sure! We are so close to little man getting here!!

Sleep: I hate sleeping. Im not a huge fan of it at all. I know that the sleeping through the night thing wont happen once little man is here, but I at least look forward to being able to snuggle up on my belly and be able to stand up to pee without it hurting. Im really looking forward to that. Like you have no idea. 
New this week: Braxton hicks are in full swing. Ive had 3 this week. 2 last week. And whoever said they dont hurt is a liar. Sits on a throne of lies. They hurt like heck. But I have handled them pretty well I think. Nic's opinion may differ haha, but I think Im doing pretty well.

Best moment this week: So Nic and I were talking last night and I realized that Nic had never changed a diaper. Ever. Thats is a major problem seeing as we are about to have a diaper wearing small one in our house. So we broke out a few of our diapers and Rylan's Duffy Bear and we had a diaper changing lesson. I taught him all of my tricks from my years of babysitting and we had a lot of great laughs with each other. Just having fun. Those are my favorite moments...

Miss Anything? My rings. And sleeping. Those are two huge things I miss. 
Cravings: Sonic Slushies. Of any kind. I think because they taste so cold and are so freaking delicious haha. 

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing this week. Ive been feeling pretty good stomach wise. 

Wedding rings on or off? Still off. 

Looking forward to: Little man being here. There really is nothing else that excites me more. I can't wait to just take in every little thing about him. And I am so excited to get to use all of his stuff and to put him in all of these adorable little clothes. He is going to be one well dressed kid :) And I am really looking forward to seeing Nic interact with our little man. I cant wait to see him love this kid. He is such a precious person and to see him love something so unique and so new will truly be a miracle. 

And thats the bumpdate!

Bumpdate: Week 33 and 34

So pregnancy has gotten particularly hard the last few weeks so I apologize for the lateness of this post and that is a two week combination post. But Im thinking as we are moving through these last few weeks there may be more combo posts. But hey, this is my story and Im allowed to write it however I choose :) Also there is no good picture to document these weeks, but this one shows off the bump somewhat. This would be half way through week 34. 

How far along? 33/34 weeks

Maternity clothes? Nothing seems to fit anymore. I have one pair of preggy pants that are suitable for wearing in public and a whole lot of sweatpants that make me happy. Im also down to about 3 tops that fit me comfortably. But I am definitely ready to have my body back to a semi normal size, and to be able to bend over and put my shoes on by myself again. Im so so ready for that. I know the road to losing the baby weight can be long, but between nursing and walks, and my awesome work out buddy of a husband, I think I will be able to get back down in a reasonable amount of time.

Sleep: Oh my word, the peeing. Every two hours like clockwork. Occasionally, every hour. And sleep has gotten stressful the last few weeks. I have a hard time falling asleep and then the whole time Im sleeping, I never fall completely asleep and I dont feel Rylan moving so then I have all this stress while sleeping and I just cant seem to make sleeping a peaceful experience. I just keep reminding myself that this little beautiful boy will be in my arms so so soon.
New this week: His movement has become slower and more spaced out. He is running out of room so his little limbs can be seen from space it seems like. Also just a sense of overall discomfort. Ive hit large and miserable it seems like. 

Best moment this week: Nothing baby related, but we had a fancy dinner for Nic's job this past week and the spouses were supposed to join the employees so I went with him. I was sitting across the table from his boss' wife and another employee's wife. I, being pregnant, was a great conversation piece, which also helped break that awkward ice thats always there at these kinds of things. So we are sitting there discussing my kid and how pregnancy is going and they both start telling me their labor stories and all of the grossness that went along with it, and then the one says, "Oh when I was pregnant everyone tried to tell me their stories and I was like no thank you, I dont want to hear it!" I thought to myself, "Then why the heck are you telling me your terrifying stories?" Oh man. I got a good laugh in the car with Nic on the way home over that one. 

Miss Anything? Not being tired. Yup. Thats a big one. And having normal size ankles. 
Cravings: Yogurt. Lots of yogurt. With granola in it. So Ive been eating that quite a bit. And Coke. I cannot stop craving Coke. In any form. Frozen. in a glass. Ill take whatever Nic will let me have. 

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing this week. Ive been feeling pretty good stomach wise. 

Wedding rings on or off? Still off. Im currently wearing Nic's extra band for Marine Corps maintenance so that I dont look like a preggo teen. lol.

Looking forward to: Seeing this little miracle's face. And hearing his little voice and his giggle for the first time. Those are the biggest ones. Also, getting to share him with our families and to see the love that they will have for him as well. I really just cant wait to meet him. 

And thats the bumpdate!

Hospital Bag Time!

So I have done countless research on what to pack in your hospital bag. Ive read article after article and everyone has their opinion on what they think is necessary and what is not. So after looking at everyone's opinions, as well as what our hospitals provided as necessary to bring, this is what we packed in our bags.

Ill start with Little Man's bag:

For Rylan, we packed super simple and tried to only bring the necessities. 

-We packed 3 sets of clothes: His going home outfit in a newborn size, alternative going home outfit in a 3 month size since we dont know how big he will be, and his Little Man onsie with matching hat and booties for visitors and pictures. Our hospital offers newborn photos through Bella Baby Photography while you are staying in the hospital. We are using part of his going home outfit for those pictures so we limited the amount of clothing we were bringing for him. We also packed his going home sneaker socks and an extra pair of matching socks just in case. And two little hats for his cute little head.

-Receiving Blankets: We packed our 2 favorite receiving blankets to use for swaddling for our in hospital pictures and for our going home needs. 

-Soothies: Our hospital provides the advent soothies, but a lot of what I have read in my research says that not all babies like all types of soothies and to pack multiple types, so we packed 3 different types and we will see what little man prefers. 

-Toiletry Kit: We got our first aid/toiletry kit at our shower, so we have that packed along with our nasal aspirator and and nail clippers/emery boards.

-Monkey: We packed Rylan's first toy that my parents bought for him shortly after we found out we were having a boy. It rattles and is just the cutest thing ever and it really just made my heart happy to pack that :)

-Winter Coat: I doubt that we will wear it on him to bring him home, but with the unpredictability of the weather it may be super cold in February. So we have it packed just in case little man needs to be warmer than anticipated.

-Carseat Blanket: The blue striped blanket we bought especially for his carseat. It super snuggly and warm and will look so stinking cute tucking in our little man.

-Boppy: I've read so many mixed reviews on whether or not the boppy will be useful in the hospital, so we have ready to go just in case. 

-Carseat: This is obvious but just in case you didnt assume, we are bringing his carseat. 

My bag I will do in parts, just because its easier:

Clothes: 

-Fuzzy socks: My feet get cold really easy. So I have two pairs of fuzzy socks packed for our stay.

-Slippers/Flip Flops: I packed my slippers that I can slip on to go to the restroom or to walk the halls during labor. They are an older pair that Ive had for years and have seen many a dance competition so I am not concerned with the gross hospital floor being all over the bottom of them. Ill just pack them away and use for the next stay. Flip flops are packed for showering.

-Bath Robe: I packed a robe that I can wear over my hospital gown if I need to walk the halls or post delivery if I want to stay in the gown as apposed to changing into pajamas.

-Nursing tanks/bras: I packed two nursing tanks and two nursing bras. I've read that they are an awesome way to look cute for visitors and keep the food available for the little man. 

-PJs: I packed a pair of loose waisted pj's and a loose fitting top. They are super comfy and wont hurt an incision if I end up with a c-section.

-Picture Outfit: Like I said, our hospital provides a photographer that comes to capture those newborn moments and they suggest wearing dark colors to offset from the paleness of the hospital rooms. So I packed a pair of grey maternity sweats to be sure that they fit post delivery and a black maternity top. 

Not pictured: I also packed a sweater to wear over my pjs if Im cold, underware and an extra pair of pj pants.

Toiletries:

-I invested in a travel size of pretty much everything. 

   -Two mini shampoos and two conditioners.

   -Mini shaving cream

   -Body wash

   -Deodorant

   -Mini contact solution and two cases; one for Nic and one for me so that we dont have to think about      remembering to pack them day of.

   -Toothpaste and two new toothbrushes; for the same reason as above.

   -Make Up remover wipes

   -Clorox wipes, just to make me feel a little cleaner. I know hospitals are the most sanitary place in the world but I still feel dirty when Im in them,

   -Hand sanitizer for all of little man's visitors. 

Not pictured: razor, glasses, lotion, chapstick, hair brushes, hair ties, bobby pins, and my make up bag. All of the above will be thrown in day of and is on a list on the dresser to be sure that we remember to pack them. 

Snacks:

A lot of the different blogs that I was reading said that bringing snacks for daddy to be is a good idea, but to make sure that you got things that didnt have a potent smell of any kind. So we decided that would probably be a smart idea! We got a box of fruit snacks and a box of cereal bars. Both of which I like too so what he doesnt eat during labor we will surely eat together once little man arrives. We also got two gatorades. Im not sure what my doctor's rules are on beverages during labor but some allow gatorade so we are bringing two just in case. 

We also have a decent amount of money in change for the vending machines that will be packed as well. Just trying to make sure that Nic is fed and happy :)

Nic's bag isn't packed yet because he wears most of those things on a regular basis, but this is the list of what will be included in his bag:

-Button down shirt: This was one of the awesome ideas that I found online. Skin to skin time is important with daddy also, but being shirtless when visitors arrive isnt ideal. So we are going to pack a button down that way he still has a shirt on and just has to button up whenever people arrive.

-PJ pants/sweatpants: Comfortable for sleeping or hanging out during our days in the hospital.

-3 T-shirts: We will be in the hospital either two or three days depending on how I end up delivering so two tshirts would work fine but just incase little man gets any of those bodily fluids on him haha, we want an extra.

-Hoodie: Just incase he gets cold.

-Picture outfit: Jeans and a black sweater for daddy in these pictures.

-Flip Flops: For showering and walking to vending machines or the cafeteria.

-Pillow/Blanket: The hospital provides a fold down couch or chair depending on which room we are in but they do not provide bedding of any kind. So we are bringing him his pillow and a blanket to make his awkward sleeping more comfortable.

-Book: For down time or when Im sleeping.

-Toiletry Bag: For showering and what not.

Other things that we will be bringing along that are on our day of bring them list...

-Cell phones and chargers

-Camera and charger

-Laptop and charger

-Pens

-My pillow

-The Gilmore Girls. This show is my happy place and the LDRs have tvs and dvd players in them so we figured this may help pass the time and keep my mind busy through labor and the days that follow.

And thats our packed/packing list. Some stuff we may not use, and we may not pack stuff that we would have used. My parents will also be there so they can bring us anything that we need in between (including my turkey sandwiches that I have been craving since week 10 and havent eaten to avoid the nitrates but will have as soon as this little man comes out). I know that everyone has a different opinion about what is used and what is needed but I feel that for us this is what will work. I will be sure to update post baby and let you all know what we did or didnt use :)

Hope you have enjoyed this Morris Moment. Until next time...