Thats been the last month of our lives in a nutshell.
Here's what I have learned from all of this.
1. Life is what you make of it. Sitting at the studio for 12 hours on a Saturday can either suck, or be full of memories that will last for a lifetime. Spending 14 hours straight inside the Harrison Opera House can be painful, or be an opportunity to share in the excitement that each one of those girls feels on recital day.
2. I love what I do for a living. I have said since I was 4 years old that I was going to be a dance teacher when I grew up and I have successfully completed that life goal and I wouldnt trade this last year for anything. As frustrating as it was at times, and as creatively stunted as a felt with a few of my pieces, all of it seemed worth when after the show on Saturday night, one of my girls looked at me and told me that I made her fall in love with dancing and that she never knew that she could communicate in a way that told such a story. That moment right there. Thats how I know I was born to do this.
3. Growing up is hard. Nic and I have been praying and seeking God about a lot of what's to come in life. We have spent hours talking and laughing and crying and just trying to figure out what makes the most sense for us as a family. Looking at life as something to be enjoyed, not endured but at the same time knowing that we arent kids anymore. We have things that have to be done and we have bills that have to be payed and there is just nothing that we can do about that. Life is an adventure to say the least, but I wouldnt want to take this adventure with anyone else.
4. Death always stings. This past week our family lost one of our dearest friends to suicide. This was a friend that my mom grew up with. He married my mom's very best childhood friend. She was the matron of honor in their wedding. We went to the church that they started for quite a bit of my childhood. My brother has preached at their church. Jess has lead worship there. We loved these people with everything that we had, and yet we never realized that the weight of life was just too much for him to handle. And it was so humbling to hear what had happened, because you never expect the ones that seem so strong to fall. You never expect the ones that seem so tall, to become so small. You never expect that news. And honestly when my dad called to to tell me, I hung up the phone and I had a good long cry. I felt angry. Angry that life can be so freaking cruel sometimes. Angry that the choice was made to go. That God didnt call him home. I felt broken, because I could hear the brokenness in my mom's voice when I called her. Broken because of something that shouldnt have ever happened. I felt selfish. Selfish that I hadn't been seeking God enough to know that he needed help. Selfish that my family didnt see it. That we didnt realize what was going on. I felt sad. For his family. For his wife. For his children and grandchildren. Sad for his congregation. No matter what way you look at it. No matter who it is. Death always stings when you dont see it coming. Hearing the word death after a person's name always feels like you got the wind knocked out of you. I know its a part of life, but its just one of those parts that hurts.
5. I love my husband more than I thought possible. Nic is currently in California with the Marine Corps for his Annual Training. He left last Wednesday and will be back next Tuesday. And as weird as it seems, we have not spent a night apart since we got married, and honestly, I liked it that way. I am missing him more than I ever thought I could miss someone. And the part of it that I am having a hard time wrapping my head around is that I am currently snuggled into my bed in my childhood bedroom spending these 2 weeks with my family. A place that I am constantly missing when I am in Virginia Beach. The people that I love so much are all around me, yet I am constantly catching myself counting down the days until I get to see my Nicolas again. I have been glued to my cell phone just waiting to hear from him. Its a strange feeling. Being home, but wanting to be with Nic. Being with Nic but wanting to be home. Its a strange feeling, but its all a part of finding a new normal for myself. Settling into a life and a job, but at the same time knowing that in a year, all of that will change again. Knowing that life is nothing more than string of subtle changes. No two days will ever be the same. You are constantly changing. Life is constantly moving. And it never slows down. But even in the midst of the change, I know that two things will always remain constant... my Jesus, and that the love that Nic and I share will never grow cold. We truly have something special and I only pray that every person that I know and love will experience what we have someday. It is the most incredible feeling in the world.
So that is the latest happenings in the Morris house. We are forever changing. Life is never standing still. But we are writing one heck of a story.
I leave you with a picture of the cutest bumble bees known to man and my amazing family.
Also I got an Iron Man lunch box. I am gunna be the coolest kid ever taking my dinner to work this summer. You know you're jealous. Come on. Admit it.
I hope you have enjoyed this Morris Moment.
Until next time...
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